Educate Me, On English

When I was in school I was told:

PU$$Y was a CAT
SEX meant GENDER
B1TCH was a FEMALE DOG
D1CK was a NAME
BANG was a SOUND
RUBBER was an ERASER
AS$ was an ANIMAL
SCREW was just a TOOL
HEAD meant a PART OF BODY
BALLS meant a ROUND TOY
NUTS meant DRY FRUIT
69 was just a NUMBER

And then..

I came across all you dirty f*ckers and my education was ruined

[JOKE] Buying Med In The Pharmacy

I walked up to the counter in the pharmacy and just my luck there was a girl serving.

“Erm… Morning,” I said, “I need some erm… God, this is embarrassing…”

“Don’t you worry sir,” she leaned in and whispered reassuringly, “I get this every day!”

I smiled back.

“Condoms?” she said.

“No,” I said.

“Suppositories?” she said.

“No,” I said.

“Tampons?”

“No.”

“Well, it can’t be that embarrassing then, sir,” she said with a smile.

“Paracetamol,” I said.

“Paracetamol?” she said with a puzzled look. “RM2.30 please. What’s so embarrassing?”

Then I pulled out my little pink purse..

[JOKE] Kentut Dalam Lagu

Panggilan seksi kentut dalam tajuk lagu inggeris

Udin : “cikgu apa dlm bahasa inggrisnya kentut?”
Cikgu : “Wind of change.”

Udin : “Kentut yang tidak bunyi?”
Cikgu : “Sound of silence.”

Udin : “Kentut yang tdk disengaja?”
Cikgu : “Careless whisper.”

Udin : “Kentut yang terhimpit?”
Cikgu: “Please release me.”

Udin : “Kentut yang bau sangat?”
Cikgu : “Killing me softly…”

Udin : “Kalau kentut beracun?”
Cikgu : “Don’t speak…”

Udin : “Kentut di malam hari?”
Guru : “Wonderfull tonight.”

Udin : “Orang yang sering kentut?”
cikgu: “no body but you.”

happy weekend people!

[JOKE] Past Tense

Mary and Gloria after an English exam.

Mary: How was your paper Gloria?

Gloria: It was kind of hard; I didn’t know the past tense of ‘think’. I thought and thought and thought for a long time then finally wrote ‘thonk’.

Mary: I guess you’re right, because I wrote thonk after I thought 4 a while. …

Mary: Shit! And what about the past tense of ‘write’?

Gloria: I don’t know what I wrote; I think I wrote ‘written’.

Mary: That one I didn’t even bother. When I saw the next number asking for the past tense of ‘go’, I just went out of the Exam Room.

Gloria: Me too, when I reached that number I couldn’t take it anymore. Those idiots gave us an exam beyond our standard!!

Sos kicap: internet

[Joke] Tak Mahu Menyusu

Saleem menaiki bas dan duduk di sebelah ibu muda yang cantik dan seksi. Kebetulan ibu muda itu baru mulai hendak menyusui bayinya. Tapi ketika si ibu muda hendak menyusui, si bayi menolaknya.

Si ibu muda berkata, “cepat sayang minum, nanti mama bagi dekat uncle di sebelah.”

Sepuluh minit kemudian si bayi masih saja tidak mahu menyusu.

Si ibu muda memujuk lagi, “cepat sayang minum susu mama. Nanti mama bagi dekat uncle di sebelah. Mama bagi betul-betul ni.

Tiba-tiba Saleem berkata kepada si ibu muda, “saya nak bagitahu dekat puan, cepat sikit buat keputusan. Saya sepatutnya sudah turun di 4 perhentian sebelumnya.

Good morning guys!

[jokE] No More Floppy Lips

A sexually active woman told her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret, and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she calls in the doctor.
“I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!”

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality, and that the first rose was from him.
“I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself. The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago.”

“And what about the third rose?” she asked.
“That’s from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears.

gambar hiasan:

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Just a joke, aye? No harm done

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